Yesterday I on-boarded a new client and at the end of the meeting he turned and said "Now I need to ask you for some referrals." As he uttered those words you could feel the dynamic in the room change…in an instant.
It's not that I don't want to give him referrals…I do and I will. It's how he asked.
When you ask like that, it's more about you than me.
And when it's about you, not me…you're not communicating in the language I prefer. The "let's talk about me language."
Now…don't judge me a narcissist just yet, because you KNOW you think that way too…and so do your clients.
Asking in the way my client did was a one way transfer of value. He got it all, and I got nothing. And, most importantly, he didn't offer my contacts any particular value upon introduction.
Sure he's good at what he does…yes, when I refer him he'll do a good job…but that alone isn't enough to earn an introduction.
I'll bet you're asking your clients in this same way…it's common.
And you're probably not getting as many quality referrals as you'd like.
The fix for this pesky little referral problem is to orchestrate the referral. Have a "ceremony", a process, something special and valuable for both your client and the person they introduce you to.
For this new client, we'll create a "referral kit" with some really valuable information in it…information that can only be had if you're introduced by a friend (like being one of the cool kids).
Then, he won't have to beg for something…he'll be giving something valuable.
Not getting the referrals you should? I can fix that.